Paleo Pasta in My Pantry

We all have staples in our pantries, and a big one in mine is paleo pasta made from hearts of palm. It’s changed my life. Of all the brands and pasta types I’ve tried, I like Palmini’s linguine the best. It’s made from simple hearts of palm cut into linguine shape. One ingredient. A vegetable.

The best is, I don’t need to do any complicated pasta-making maneuvers; all the work is done for me already. Palmini’s hearts of palm pasta is the perfect addition to any lazy bastard’s meal planning. I eat it 3-4 times a week!

I prefer the can, as opposed to the pouch, because the can is slightly bigger. One can makes one super large portion, or two normal ones.

Disclaimer: Palmini is not paying me anything for this endorsement. ZERO. But hey, if they’re interested in sponsoring me, I will sell out immediately.

My Favorite Paleo Pasta

I’ve tried every paleo pasta substitute. Here’s the lowdown:

• Zucchini’s too watery.
• Daikon’s less watery, but still too much, and has that strong cabbage smell.
• Spaghetti squash tastes too much like squash to taste like anything else and it really kills the tomato sauce flavor.
• Konjac has a weird squeaky texture with a funky smell.
• All gluten-free alternatives are loaded with empty carbs.

So, hearts of palm is the clear winner in my book!

It’s also the easiest paleo pasta to prep and cook. Just open a can, rinse, and heat it up in your sauce. Incorporating Palmini’s hearts of palm into your pasta dishes is also a great way to add vegetables and lots of fiber to your diet without the empty carbs found in real pasta.

If I could, I would eat real pasta every day. But if I did, I’d weigh 300 pounds. You see, I come from a long line of Orcas. We’re a big family. I’m guessing it’s because there’s a lot of pasta consumption. No one can be that “big-boned.”

But hearts of palm has made it possible for me to eat pasta every day and not gain weight!

Paleo Pasta in My Meal Planning

If you remember, I follow a very Simple Paleo Plan. I always have some kind of protein cooked ahead of time, plus tons of veggies and pantry items. Almost every night, it takes mere minutes to put together a simple, yet amazing meal.

Let’s say I have some leftover pork chop or chicken.

I love adding a can of noodles for an Asian dish. Maybe turn it into paleo lo mein, or paleo ramen soup (or Faux Pho, if you will). Sometimes, I’ll even go vegan for a few days.

Less meat is healthy.

In fact, I try my best to make sure only about 25% of my overall diet is animal-based. The rest is all plant-based and mostly raw. I feel like that’s the optimum diet for me.

That’s how I do paleo anyway.

Here are a few vegan meal tips: Prepare hearts of palm pasta with a homemade Pomodoro sauce or toss it with broccoli, garlic, and olive oil. Both make great vegan meals!

One Downside to My Favorite Paleo Pasta

“Aha! I knew it! There’s a catch, Nimoy!” Calmini down.

When I first started paleo, everything I ate was salt-free, sugar-free, and organic. I made my own ketchup, mayo, and other condiments. In 2021, I can’t be bothered. I research lots of products, and if they come close to my dietary demands, I’ll eat them.

Palmini is one of those products. It’s not organic, but it’s organic enough for me. And they use organic sea salt, which I rinse off.

Watch out for my next cooking article on paleo desserts! Here’s some food porn to tease you.

For more content from yours truly, make sure you check out the official trailer for my film, Fame-ish!